I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
