"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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