god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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