Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
