i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
