that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
