nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
