i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
