it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
