Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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