And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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