ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
