Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
