Buhtt sex?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
