The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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