On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
