How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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