Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
