she was so not down for the gang bang
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
