2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
actually, I'm a sock model
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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