I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
