Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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