Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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