she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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