just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
