Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
