alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
