if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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