Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So much rum. So many feels.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize