How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
