Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
