At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
