I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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