Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
