I puked a lego.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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