Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
