Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
