Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
