is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
