I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
