i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize