New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
