Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
