Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
