there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
