Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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