Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
