Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
