its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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