I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
