I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
