why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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