a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
