Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
