The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
