Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
