i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
