im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
