i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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