sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
