he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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