I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Bring me that man meat
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize