it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
