i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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