I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
