A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
