But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
